Thank you for developing this further for the crit. Who are they? Where are they going? Why do we care? (I mean, I DO care: they are off into a cold, quiet place, and even without more information we are already invested in them, we wish them godspeed.) Is there anything that pull this into specific excellence rather than a pretty good standard image? Somthing special that you remember about mountains? expanses of snow? Going together as a group into a new place? Can you carve the mountains with darkness and fear? or silence? or joy? or welcoming? Or ....... ???
Once again your talent might help you finish this! Please double check FG, MG, and BG, and path.
ReplyDeleteThank you for developing this further for the crit. Who are they? Where are they going? Why do we care? (I mean, I DO care: they are off into a cold, quiet place, and even without more information we are already invested in them, we wish them godspeed.) Is there anything that pull this into specific excellence rather than a pretty good standard image? Somthing special that you remember about mountains? expanses of snow? Going together as a group into a new place? Can you carve the mountains with darkness and fear? or silence? or joy? or welcoming? Or ....... ???
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